In the beginning 

In the beginning it was fall 2015. One of my favourite times of year with cozy clothes, changing leaves and Halloween. At some point during the fun fall thing there was also a lump.

I WebMD’d the hell out of that lump. To the point where WebMD told me that I probably had MS, Lupus and dysentary but since I wasn’t on Oregon Trail I knew it couldn’t be true. I headed to the doctor after procrastinating for a while hoping it would go away on its own. Because I had no family history of breast cancer he told me to keep an eye on it and see if it changed in the next month or so.

Then sometime around Christmas the lump had grown and I reluctantly went back to the doctor. He was surprised that it was the size it was and sent me for some tests.

(Insert a bit of annoying back and forths with the GP and the breast health clinic before appointments were able to be made)

On March 10, 2016 I visited Jim Pattison Outpatient Clinic and had an ultrasound, mammogram and biopsy all in one day. I left feeling pretty well, felt like whatever was going on was manageable and was confident that it would be chalked up to a cyst or benign lump that would have to be dealt with at some point, but nothing crazy.

The following Friday, March 18th, the earth shifted under me. The results were not what I expected and I had to make tough decisions (4-6cm lump in left breast, cancer, possible lymphnodes issues). I’ve wondered from time to time (usually while watching Grey’s Anatomy) how a non-TV doctor tells a patient that they have cancer and, well, they just do. They just say it. I don’t know how else you would say it but it feels so unceremonious to just say – “the lump is the bad kind, it’s cancer, we have to get it out and it you have to decide before you leave here today how you want to go about it”. I am so grateful to amazing friends and family members and my incredible fiancé for helping me come to a place where I was comfortable saying that I was choosing to remove both of my breasts.

The beginning has been a whirlwind of firsts: first mammogram, first ultra sound, first biopsy, first CT scan, first time not lying about my weight when asked (let’s get that anesthesia right eh?), first surgery And I know I have a whole bunch more firsts coming.

The next chapter of this crazy undetermined journey starts next Friday, April 1 (fingers crossed that this is all just a very elaborate April fools joke!).

Day 1 mammogram

 

 

CT scan IV thumbs up

 

 

Sweet new vest for spring

 

12 thoughts on “In the beginning 

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  1. You are so amazing. Your humor and words of wisdom give me comfort even though I am supposed to try and comfort you right now. Cancer picked the wrong girl. You are going to kick it in the balls. All the hugs!

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  2. So happy you’ve decided to do this:) theres many people supporting you and know if anyone will fight hard and be very inspirational to us all, its 💕You💕 Be brave, stay strong, fight your hardest xoxoxo

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      1. ” what JoJO said”. But actually, Its admirable you have decided to do this! You can do this! We all have so much faith in you! I pray you have strength, wisdom, courage, a positive perspective and healing powers! Feed your faith girl and your fears will starve to death! LOVE YOU XOXOXOXO

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      2. ” what JOJO said”. But actually, Im so glad you’ve decided to do this! Its quiet admirable and just remember each day you fight this, its a victory for you! You WILL do this. I pray you will find courage, wisdom, strength, a positive perspective and healing powers through all this. Feed your faith girl, and your fears will starve to death! LOVE YOU xoxo

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  3. This game is moving quickly but definitely not over yet! Big decisions have been made at the plate, and now its time to hit this one hard, then just run, don’t look back, keep going as hard as you can and you will get back to HOME. Come on Captain, we need this run to come home safe! Let’s win this one. LOVE U, Coach.

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  4. You know how much love and support your surrounded by ….💖 Take all the good vibes and positive energy and hold that close to your heart !!! Billy and I send you love incased with big hugs …..oh and throw in a little lemon water !!! You are one of my favourites XO

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yes I know I ‘Encouraged’ you to play through pain 😉 Who knew it would be such a valuable skill. But we both know that real strength comes from within. I know you have real strength. Love Mom 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I know this is not the way you would have chosen to have your strength and courage realised… but honestly Arielle, sharing your thoughts this way with humor and humility… incredible! My thoughts are so with you xxx Love Pat xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I would have to say this is the Best Blog I have ever read… It is also the only Blog I have ever read, so that seems fitting to me that my Best Friend would write someting that i would finally at 33 years of age be willing to put down bejeweled and get back to reading =) You are without a doubt the bravest girl I know, and I will be with you all the way! Keep being you cause that’s the girl I LOVE so damn much!!!!! XOX D

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